tell me your secrets

Well, hello there! Has it been ages, or what? The last I wrote an entry, I was getting ready for my orientation with Abercrombie & Fitch. I've since moved on, and am now grazing at a much greener pasture. That's not to say that I didn't like doing what I did before. Are you kidding me? With awesome colleagues and managers, and wonderful associates, I couldn't have asked for more. Many thanks for the crazy nights and all the laughter. Well, not that any of them are reading this, but no matter. 

So the news is, I'm all set for a new chapter come next year. There's no denying that I'm excited, but let's be honest here: I'm nervous as hell! Well, nervous because it's all so adult. And I'm not exactly your typical adult. A daddy's girl trapped in a grown-up's body is more like it. Well, in any case, preparations are underway. Nothing major since I've barely begun sourcing out for vendors. But we've got to start somewhere, and baby steps are what I'm going for. Figuratively of course.  

For now, let's just hope this renewed interest in writing doesn't diminish soon. Enjoy the weekend, all you good people!

Well, if you must know, the above entry was written some two weeks ago. I tapped publish on my iPhone, and realised a few days later then it didn't get published. I have since played netball twice, and injured my ankle last Friday. I am now sitting in front of the tv, trying to do my readings for work. 

I'm not exactly at the highest point in my life. It's not that bad, but I've seen better days. Thank God for friends who are willing to keep me sane, even if it's at the expense of their sleep. In one night, I've learnt to let go of certain things that you can't control - got to pick my battles wisely -  and I've learnt not to be so simple-minded. Not everyone is kind without an ulterior motive. 

The more I think about it, the more depressed I become. So, letting go is crucial. It helps to reel the positive vibes back in. It's going be an uphill battle, but we'll see. 

Last week, I had written to LV for a job interview. I got a callback for an interview, which was scheduled for today, which also happens to be the day of my orientation with A&F. I spent some time contemplating, thinking, and deliberating. This is not just some part-time job I'm taking to kill time during the December holidays. We're talking about huge career development which may or may not look good in my portfolio. There were so many things to consider - pay, working hours, benefits et al. 

So I went for the interview, and came out after less than five minutes. Here's a breakdown of what happened. She let me into her office, filled with bookmarked magazines, clippings of coverage, I presume. We got around to talking about what I did during my first ever PR stint. After I've impressed her with my regular contacts at Mediacorp and SPH, she then looked up from a thorough examination of my CV, and told me with dismay in her face that the job that I'm interviewing for is contract-based and I'm over-qualified anyway. 

Killjoy. 

So, it's set then. I'm off to A&F for my orientation. Here's to a new chapter. 

I am planning (well, sort of) a wedding. Fortunately, it's not mine because it were, I'd go crazy and might just end up shooting myself in the head. Do you have any idea the plethora of designs and concepts that are available, and those do not even include the ones that I have secretly planned in my tiny brain. I am excited! But I have a huge problem filtering and staying focused. I get extremely animated when it comes to flowers and all things pretty. 

Back to wedding blogs for more ideas (as if I don't have enough dripping from my already full head, haha)

It took me quite a while to process and to understand that it really happened – she's gone for good. When Izzah called me that morning, I told her to check if it was a prank because I wanted it to be just that. It finally hit me after reciting that last verse at the void deck. 

We were not the best of buddies, but when we met once in a while, she was such a joy to be with. I am glad that we all got together that one night for sup kambing at Boon Keng and durians at Lorong 17. 

Thanks for listening to my complaints and endless insecurities, and for telling me to take a stand, even if it was only through text messages and Twitter. 

I hope our paths shall cross, some day. 

Al-fateha, Siti Fathanah Jailani. 

 I think it's very true that the only man who will love you like no else will is your dad.

I've just been very disappointed with how things have taken a turn. I cannot fathom how people cannot empathise. You don't have to sympathise. Just understand. I get that maybe I'm a little too emotional, but mostly with reason. The leaves won't rustle if there's no wind, yes?

You know the cliché "promises are meant to be broken"? It shouldn't exist, at all.

Promises are made to be honoured. That's the hallmark of a true gentleman. Not the gifts you shower her with, and definitely not the sweet-nothings you whisper to her. Honour the things you said and promised her. 

 Selfish son of a gun.

I scribbled this down while waiting for someone... just to stop myself from dozing off in public.

As I flipped through every single page of this notebook, vivid memories cane flashing to my mind. That sounded like a corny cliche, but it's the truth! I never was brilliant at Mathematics but I do remember doing stats and correlation for one of the modules and I actually had fun. Matter of the fact is, I'm amazed that I passed that module with a fairly decent grade. And yes, I'm smug about that.

If I could pick some of my favourite modules, they would be Arts & Our World, Politics, Economics, America and the Future, Behavioural Science, and Television Scripting. They weren't my favourite because I'd gotten all As for them. In fact, of these four, I managed only one A; the rest were A-, B+ and C+. Not very proud of them, but I've learnt to be contented. I enjoyed them because they were fun. Especially Arts & Our World, during which we had to do a lot of field work. Can you imagine all the critical analysis we had to churn out every day and all the artists' names and works that we had to familiarise ourselves with in a period of two weeks? It was gruelling (we had to perform an adaptation of a play and were given what, three days?) but I think we had the most fun. The most memorable bit from that module was skipping class for a day to take pictures for "show & tell".  I never was an arty-farty person, so I'd decided to put my sister's spanking new DSLR to good use. I ended up spending more than half a day snapping away around the CBD and One Fullerton area. i think that was about the only time I cut class during uni.

Television scripting was mad awesome because we got to craft news, read news like a newscaster would and all that jazz. The rush of having to come up with a news lea in about two minutes was thrilling. But the best part, I feel, was the episode treatment for comedies. I think we all had a ball. We did stuff like Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, cult classic Bewitched, and even Phua Chu Kang! I guess the fun comes from plotting and writing lines for scenes we all wished had happened on some of our favourite TV shows.

All in all, although I *sorta* do the same thing at work, the fun is just not the same anymore. I guess I just miss coming up with corny advertisements for cupcakes, writing an episode treatment for Bewitched and laughing my head off with my classmates. I miss all of you!